These are songs that are meaningful to me as I grieve and openly mourn. Most are straightforward and emotional but I included a few songs that are more associated with romantic love because the chorus was beautiful and helps me process my loss.

1. Angels by Tom Walker  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdD-Epg1XPI
2. Saturn by Sleeping At Last https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzNvk80XY9s 
3. Rise Up by Andra Day https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR4T0av0o40
4. You Say by Lauren Daigle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIaT8Jl2zpI
5. Beautiful Boy by Ben Harper https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IljskZuz7LQ
6. Everybody Hurts by The Corrs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GIT-ee4Pzw
7. I Just Got Back from Hell by Gary Allan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXFgB_TwCrI
8. 21 Years by Toby Mac https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSV-pRGbg4k
9. Dancing in the Sky by Dani and Lizzy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR4T0av0o40
10. You Said You’d Grow Old With Me by Michael Schulte https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI7lSqMSq5U&list=RDnI7lSqMSq5U&start_radio=1
11. You are the Reason by Calum Scott and Leona Lewis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShZ978fBl6Y
12. See You Again by Wiz Khalifa https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgKAFK5djSk
13. Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxPj3GAYYZ0
14. I Just Called to Say I Love You by Stevie Wonder https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bGOgY1CmiU
15. Ordinary Miracle by Sarah McLachlan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqZE4ZDnAkQ
16. No One by Alicia Keys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rywUS-ohqeE
17. Carry On by Fun https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7yCLn-O-Y0
18. What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWzrABouyeE
19. Shine by Thomas Dybdahl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzgKtcxOpuA
20. Who You’d Be Today by Kenny Chesney https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ne3cz9eUsQ
21. Glitter by Patrick Droney https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luS9Vp5krro
22. It’s Quiet Uptown by Lin-Manuel Miranda https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjEoOeXId1k
23. Beam Me Up by Pink https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JZquGqRlTQ
24. Precious Child by Stoweood https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aq4qV7v1xNI
25. Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXw0jcYbqdo
26. If I Would Have Known by Kyle Hume https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4MXU0HP3KU
27. Give Heaven Some Hell by Hardy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNLPf8YhSc8
28. Wrecked by Imagine Dragons https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mJayYlfcWo
29. See You Again by Carrie Underwood https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GC0mKxtS7mA
30. One More Day by Diamond Rio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuE1XJ_uqOs

Ideas and Tips to Help and Heal a Parent’s Grieving Heart

1.       Use the name of the person lost. My heart lights up when someone uses Kenny’s first name. It’s affirming, loving and shows respect. Also supportive things like “What a handsome kid.” or “I can tell he was a kind and good person.” really make my heart stand tall.

2.       For some parents, at least at first there is a certain stigma, shame and feelings of being judged when the person lost dies by the use of opioids. Always remember that regardless if the person who died was a first time user of a fully addicted individual that that person is somebody’s someone.

3.       Realize that parents don’t want to hear things like “He is in a better place now.” Or “God needed another angel.” even if that is ultimately true.

4.       Understand that even if a parent logically understands that their child is not coming back their heart and emotions take much longer to accept it.

5.      Realize that grief and love are opposite sides of the same coin and it’s because parents love so deeply that they experience such life altering pain.

6.      Be present to the other person’s pain. You don’t have to fix it and chances are you really don’t understand but that’s okay. Just be there, grab that tissue box and hold them if appropriate.

7.     Encourage and help them to remember the person who died. It can be both painful and healing to mark the deceased’s birth and date of death anniversaries by releasing a balloon or anonymously purchasing another child’s cake with the same birthdate. Also linking objects and personal items from the person who died can be a powerful way to remember them.

8.      Don’t try to protect them from all the pain. Obviously if it is overwhelming, outside support might be necessary but some parents suppress the pain. When you actually run towards the pain and outwardly mourn in manageable doses it helps you process the loss.

9.   Help them search for meaning and develop a new self-identity. This is a process that takes time. They will never be the person they were even moments before finding out their child had passed but I have found that there can be a sort of integration that takes place. It is a love amongst the pain and a gradual acceptance. It’s not really important that the new identity is a huge shift but it could be a small improvement such as “I’m going to get up and do the dishes twice this week in their loved ones honor. I’m going to bravely pray and breathe today.

10.   Ask them to look for the heroes in their situation and if possible become one of those heroes. They may not be receptive to this right away but eventually it can be so empowering to remember the family member who got it and listened, the stranger on Facebook who reached out, or the coworker who checked on you when you were absolutely broken and devastated inside.